Let’s accept as given that men and women are equals, and enter relationships as equal partners. Using your argument that women should be able to choose when to be mothers (and, therefore, when not to be), would you also agree that men also have the right to choose when to be fathers? We are, after all, talking about individual choice and liberty. Yet family law in America and other countries in effect bind men to women who choose to have babies that men do not want. (Conversely, as I myself learned, the law allows women not to have babies that men do want).

One could argue that men accept the risk of becoming a parent when they have sex–but, equally, the same applies when women have sex. (This of course rests on the premise that both parties consented). That said, one could also note that women bear the burden of pregnancy for 9 months, followed by the potential trauma of childbirth — neither of which will men experience. However, men DO experience financial loss (and loss of their liberty) for 18 years and may never even get to see their child.

The only way this devastating issue can be resolved, in my view, is to view sex (and pregnancy) as a joint act with joint responsibilities. The man should have to consent to an abortion to reflect that it was a pregnancy that he helped create (where sex is consensual). Failing this, then, a woman’s choice to give birth should be matched by a man’s choice to be (or not to be) involved in that child’s life.

It is devastating that the creation of life can be relegated to such cold terms, but that’s the way it is in these modern times.

I look forward to your thoughts, Tony